After a five-hour drive from Johannesburg, we arrived in a bush pub outside the town of Hoedspruit. There, we filled in indemnity forms which basically relieved Transfrontiers (http://transfrontiers.com/safari_itineraries.asp) of all responsibility for any horrible fate that might befall us whilst walking or driving around in the bush. Things like mamba venom, malaria, tick-bite fever (which one of the guides was currently suffering from) tusk gore, rhino tramplage, croc predation, rifle misfire, Larium-psychosis-induced homicide on the part of frightened guests, heatstroke, anthrax, etc. Tell the truth I wasn’t paying much attention. There was a orange bishop weaving a nest in the reeds behind us (see “Twitching” below). And a paradise fly-catcher in the tree above. Oh, and a Cape buffalo across the marsh, my first. Besides which, lunch was about to be served. And there were mosquitoes.
From what I did gather, however, Klasserie, the area we would be staying in, was a 22-square-mile unfenced private reserve located within the boundaries of Kruger National Park, itself a massive stretch of wilderness the size, they proudly informed us, of Israel.
“This safari is not about getting people up close to the Big 5 on foot,” said Ingrid, the flame-haired lady in charge.
That’s funny, I thought to myself. That’s exactly what I thought we paid for.
“If it happens, great, but we expect you to listen to your guides. They’ve got 30 years experience between them. Only run if they say run— especially from large cats…” ( I’m paraphrasing here because, again, I wasn’t really— hey, what kind of lizard is that over there? ) “The last thing any of us want,” she continued, “to is have one of you injured by an animal, or an animal shot to protect you. If the guides have to use their rifles in defense they will probably lose their jobs.
“If you do come across big game on foot— especially in the dense brush we have now— most likely you will have a quick look and then back carefully away. Again, this safari is not about getting guests in dangerous situations. This safari is about seeing things you generally miss from a vehicle. Tracks, spoor, birds, insects, behavior, zzzzzzz.” Is it lunchtime?
